There is a hashtag on Twitter right now called #Confessyourunpopularopinion. People post things like "George Harrison was better than John Lennon," "I hated 'La La Land," "Flat soda so yummy," and "Pumpkin pie is terrible"-opinions that are thrillingly contrary.
Even though we live in the Era of Massive Oversharing (EMO), this is not the same as actually daring to think or feel differently-and admit it. How often do we nod our heads in agreement with someone else's opinion, while thinking exactly the opposite? A lot, that's how often. How many times have we praised the latest sushi restaurant, when in our hearts we are crying "But it's raw fish!" TOO OFTEN!
It's time to change that, right here, right now, and I am taking the first courageous step. I am confessing my #unpopularopinions in the newspaper for all to see. Strap in, people, and prepare to have your worlds rocked:
--"Game of Thrones" is unwatchable.
-Hummus is the worst, followed by white bean paste with oil. You're not fooling me, white bean paste. You look like butter, but you're not.
--Butter is awesome.
--Turkey is better than chicken.
--Pink Floyd is overrated. If I never hear the annoying opening bars of "Money" again, it will be too soon.
--Bob Dylan can't sing, I hate the song "Sympathy for the Devil," and everything by Lou Reed is bad.
--"Battlebots" and "Gold Rush" are the best shows on television, possibly the best shows ever.
--Italian deserts are not good. I'm talking to you, ricotta pie. You too, tiramisu. Also, why are the cookies different colors and shapes, but all taste exactly the same?
--Adele is shrill and hard to listen to. "Rolling in the Deep" is her only good song.
--Cape Ann is better than Cape Cod.
--Raisins are the worst.
--Hence, oatmeal raisin cookies are bad.
--July 4th is better than Christmas.
--Jazz is annoying.
--Gluten gets a bad rap. Except for the poor folks who have Celiac Disease, everyone else should stop hating on gluten and go buy themselves a warm, freshly-baked baguette and eat it slathered with butter (see above about butter being awesome).
--Twitter is > Facebook and breaks up fewer relationships.
--Fancy European buttercream frosting tastes like sunblock.
--Which means that old-fashioned bakery frosting, the kind that gets a little crusty and is described as "so sweet it makes your teeth ache," is awesome.
--Disney characters are depressing.
--Mindy Kaling is overrated.
--All foods are better toasted, many are better well-done, and a few are better burned. Everything is better warm.
--Adults who make duck faces or stick out their tongues in pictures should be banished to Siberia.
--Cats are better than dogs.
--Crab is better than lobster.
--Lobster mac and cheese has to go.
--Bread the band was the most underrated group of the 1970's, and the song "Baby I'm-a want you" should be played at all major sporting events.
--No one has ever enjoyed the second half of the "Nutcracker," they have only endured it.
--Brunch should be banned because it confuses the entire day's meal schedule.
--Tortilla chips hurt your mouth.
--There's a place in this world for Indian pudding.
--"Angela's Ashes" was unreadable.
--"Casa Blanca" is overrated.
--Peter Tork was the best Monkee.
--Chips and crackers are better in small, crushed-up pieces, and no one can blame you if you lean on the package to make them that way.
--Fake Halloween spiders are really scary and should be illegal.
--Smelts are yummy.
-- "My Way" by Frank Sinatra has been played enough. Actually, that goes for most Frank Sinatra songs.
--Ditto for "Somewhere over the rainbow."
--Singing "Happy Birthday" is painful.
--The term "baby bump" should be outlawed.
--Petunias are lame flowers.
--Lentil is the worst soup.
--Wheat Chex is the best cereal.
My husband David Archibald also contributed a few #unpopularopinions, which I air here even though I disagree vehemently with several of them:
--All foods are better cold.
--Fresca is the best drink, pie is the best desert and sea salt is just salt.
--Oatmeal raisin cookies are the ultimate cookies
-- Fall foliage is simply dying leaves and is therefore depressing.
--Crème Brulee is bad, chocolate pudding is good.
--Babybel is the greatest cheese, now and forever.
OMG, we both feel so good now. #Confessingyourunpopularopinion is incredibly liberating. It's not about being argumentative or disagreeable (my husband and I have opposing views on oatmeal raisin cookies, yet somehow our marriage still works). Instead it's about letting your freak flag fly and proclaiming to the world, that yes, you love Grape-Nut ice cream and you're not afraid to say so.
This article was originally published in the Daily News of Newburyport. Stock photo
#Confessingmyunpopularopinion, round deux
All right, people, gather round, because it's that time again. It's time for me to stand up straight and tall and proclaim "No, I don't want freshly ground pepper!" It's time for me to tell the world that fedoras look silly on anyone who isn't an 82 year-old man. It's time for me to #confessmyunpopularopinion once more. This is not for the faint of heart, and you may need to buckle up in the event of turbulence. Hold on, here we go:Fennel is an abomination.
Nachos are garbage.
Pesto isn't good.
Turkey should be served at least once a week
People only pretend to like dark chocolate.
Ditto black beans.
Milk with ice is excellent.
Candles look so innocent but they're really waiting to burn your house down.
Buffalo Wild Wings is a sad and disappointing place.
Broccoli is the only vegetable you really need.
Nothing has ever replaced the show 24.
Using spaghetti squash in place of actual pasta is a travesty.
Cauliflower is okay but doesn't belong in pizza crust, I don't care if Oprah makes it.
Saying "easy peasy" is a fireable offense.
Following it up with "lemon squeezy" gets you brought up on charges.
Most Girl Scout cookies are just expensive supermarket cookies but the Thin Mints are fire.
Kit Kats and peanut M & M's are the best candies, and Good and Plenty deserves to burn in the pits of hell.
As does any form of black licorice.
Pub fries are gross.
McDonalds fries are sublime.
Thomas the Tank Engine was disturbing.
I'm tired of fish tacos.
Caribbean Life and Beachfront Bargain Hunt are better than Fixer Upper, and Chip and Joanna are kind of annoying.
Tiny homes on wheels are just trailers.
TGIFridays did a terrible thing when they got rid of their Oreo frappes.
Frappes are awesome and don't get enough respect.
McDonald's milkshakes don't count as frappes but Shamrock Shakes are excellent because GREEN.
Cambell's tomato soup made with milk is the only tomato soup; people who make it with water are enemies of the state.
Chickpeas are a nightmare.
Mushrooms should be outlawed.
Chocolate bread pudding can substituted for any meal.
Subscribing to the New York Times when you live in Boston is traitorous, not to mention pretentious.
No one looks good in Bruins gear.
Chet and Natalie were overrated.
Maria Stephanos should have stayed on Channel 25.
Hooters wings are actually exceptional.
The poop emoji is not cute.
People who think amusement parks are fun are wrong.
Ken's Original Italian is the best salad dressing.
But blue cheese is > ranch.
Drakes Funnybones are pretty good but Hostess Fruit Pies are just weird.
Bow ties on men are bold and awesome.
Pecan pie is better than apple pie.
Farro is not an ingredient I need to know about.
Ernie Boch Jr. is kind of cool.
Man buns are kind of sexy.
Toasty Cheez-its are everything.
The Count is the best Sesame Street character.
Elmo is the worst.
Miss Piggy has always made me uncomfortable.
I'm tired of hearing about Mr. Rogers.
Durgin Park deserved to die, but Indian pudding is still important.
The term "furbaby" is annoying.
Ditto "pet parent."
Pineapple on pizza is okay.
Pizza should be a food group.
Pizza Hut is terrible.
French bread pizza is not pizza.
Duran Duran was the greatest group of the 80s, Simon Le Bon was a genius and Rio is practically Shakespeare.
Hall and Oates were bad, and Maneater is awful.
Krill is a fun word and needs to be used more often.
Thick & Fluffy Eggo waffles are better than homemade.
Pancakes are > waffles.
Lemon ricotta pancakes aren't real, and no one has ever actually made them.
David would like to chime in now:
Man can live by cereal alone, as long as he has at least 15 kinds.
Asparagus should be outlawed.
Same for brussel sprouts.
Hostess fruit pies are amazing.
Ode to Billy Joe is the best song ever written.
Olives plus broccoli is a delicious pizza topping.
Torte is German for 'unhappy with dessert'.
Docksiders are the only shoes anyone needs.
80's hair on women was great.
And though we disagree on many of our #unpopularopinions (Hostess Fruit Pies? 80s hair? I mean, c'mon) we agree where it really counts:
Fake maple syrup is an offense so grave there are no words for it.
Confessing my un/popular opinions, round 3
I always suspected that the year 2020 might not be trustworthy. It just sounded too cool and futuristic. Turns out I was right. Everyone has an opinion about what should happen going forward, and there's a time and a place for those discussions. This is not that time, nor that place. This is the time and the place where I offer my opinions about mocha frappes and other important topics, because, well, would you rather read about the election? Ha! Didn't think so.
Ready? Here goes:
- West Side story is super depressing.
-The word 'ginormous' is awful. Everyone stop using it, please.
-The phrases "this uncertain/unprecedented time" and "we are in uncharted waters" have reached peak exposure and need to go away.
-Cheez-its are still the greatest crackers.
-Jazz is still terrible.
-There are Shaws shoppers and there are Market Basket shoppers.
-Market Basket is and always will be Demoulas.
-Frozen pudding ice cream is weird and has never been eaten by anyone under 80.
-Dunks hot coffee isn't very good.
-Dunks iced coffee is nirvana.
-Dunks food isn't real food but who cares?
-Masks rule because you can pretend not to recognize people that you don't want to talk to in DeMoulas (or Shaws).
-Tiger King was awesome but it seems like forever since we watched it. It's been forever, right?
-Turns out that knowing the day of the week is unnecessary.
-So is going to school, apparently.
-Bruce Springsteen was vastly overrated.
- "Jive Talking" by the BeeGees was vastly underrated.
-No one has ever understood the words to "Stayin' Alive." Son of a mother? Mother's brother? Whatever.
-"Tuff Enuff" by the Fabulous Thunderbirds should be the theme song of the pandemic.
-Mocha frappes (you were waiting for this, you know you were) are the best frappes, but must be made with coffee AND chocolate ice cream NOT mocha chip because the chips make them gritty.
-Flatten the curve, I mutter to myself, trying to zip my jeans. Oh wait, that's not a thing anymore! Stretchy pants it is, then.
-It's ok to wear the same clothes you slept in, as long as the stains don't show in your Zoom meeting.
-TV weathermen are annoying and get way too much airtime (this is from my hubs David, who has always had something against weathermen, don't ask me why).
-Ruffles are terrible, terrible chips.
-Sourdough bread isn't that good but--
-I'm a loser because I didn't create a sourdough starter during this uncertain and unprecedented time as we navigate uncharted waters.
-It turns out that books and movies about pandemics are way better than this live theatrical version in which we are all currently starring. I don't recall buying tickets for this. Can I leave at intermission and get my money back please?
Marilyn Archibald is already dreading the long, frappe-less winter ahead.